Who AM I?

Who am I?

A few years ago I would have probably answered the “who am I?” question with an “I do not know who I am” or “I am nobody”. Sad, I know. This is a simple question, but yet it seems to be more complex than ever. When did identifying ourselves become so complex? Do we truly know how to answer?

Believe me when I say I wasn’t always so sure of who I was. A long time ago I was insecure, always upset, always looking for validation from people, and always looking for something when I felt like I was nothing. Nothing was ever enough for me. I push people away and drained the energy of the people I could not push away. It wasn’t until I broke down and I had to ask myself who I truly was.

I asked myself a few questions:

Why am I hurting? Why did what people say matter? Why were things never enough? Why wasn’t I never enough? What do I want? What don’t I want? Why do I seek validation from people in order to feel important? Do I know myself? Do I truly love myself?

I hated every bit of me. I was unhappy with myself, my body and with my life. I was broken. The majority of my life, I wanted nothing more than to BE happy. Having shifted from God out of anger, I did not know how to go to him again not because I felt like I would have been rejected, but because I felt embarrassed. I was hurting and I had nowhere to turn. But that’s the beautiful thing about God, he is always there waiting for us to let him into our hearts. He will NEVER leave nor forsake us.

So I remembered asking God to heal me. I did not want to hurt anymore, I was exhausted and I was tired of feeling exhausted, insecure, hurt, angry, not good enough, anxious, and alone. I was tired of hurting and I wanted healing.

“If we humble ourselves, people and fall on our face and Ask god everything in me that’s not right take it away” – Kirk Franklin

From that moment, it was like a burden lifted off my shoulder and nothing else mattered anymore. I could feel my pains and worries slowly melting away from my heart. In that moment I knew I was going to be okay, maybe not at the present moment but I knew in my heart that things will fall into place.

“He only sees me for who I am, he saw the best in me when everyone else saw the worst in me” – Marvin Sapp

Time flew by and as it did, I slowly began to like my life. I learned new things about my life, I learn new thing about myself, my likes and my dislikes. I learned what made me laugh and what made me cry. i learned why I acted the questions I did and why I spoke the way I did. Over the years, I formed my relationship with God and with that intimacy, he helped me to grow and shaped me into the woman I am today. He invited and removed people from my life. He gave me the things I needed as opposed to the things that I wanted because he knew that it benefited my life. He is helping me to find myself and is currently molding me into greatness.

“He did this for me and he can do this for you too.” – MO

Understand what I am trying to say to you; healing, self-acceptance, and happiness starts with no one else but YOU. Eventually you have to decide and declare happiness. We were placed on this earth to live a happy and peaceful life! It is okay to want this for yourself.

So who am I you ask?

I am a loving, strong and beautifully made woman. I am a woman who was made in Gods image and likeness. I am a woman who stands tall and walks firmly because she believe in herself, dreams and aspersions. I am a woman who hopes that whoever reads this chooses to find peace in their lives. You deserve every bit of happiness you can get from this world. Love and accept every inch of yourself because in that moment you find the path to happiness. I am a woman who loves you and wishes YOU love you too.

I am MO.

With love,

MO